It's been almost 11 years since our first post on Eluid.
That first post was about two boys born in India. One of the boys had two penises and no asshole, while the other boy had a rectum but no dick. The doctors made the only logical choice: lop off a cock from Mr. Two-Penis so that both boys had fully functioning members. We never did find out what happened with the missing butthole but that's not really the point, is it?
In our time we did our best to provide interesting news, pick fights with camgirls, and fuck shit up. There were countless lawsuit and death threats, script kiddies trying to knock us offline, and spammers trying to push their CHEEP VIAGRA!!!11 Websites came and went but we somehow stuck around, picking up a few E/N stragglers along the way and growing in number.
Our finest moment was probably when we got the 0day hookup on Paris Hilton's phonebook. A night full of phone calls led to Victoria Gotti telling us she would put a hit out on everyone, Ashley Olsen calling me an asshole when I asked if she ever gave Dave Coulier head, Vin Diesel calling us pussies, and culminating in a 10 minute long conversation with Jermaine Dupri. He didn't even ask who I was and we just talked basketball for a while. It was a pretty great night for a bunch of nerds like the Eluid crew.
Eventually we all grew up, got laid, and got lazy. The posting slowed down but we kept up with every celebrity nude leak we could (a big fuck you and LOLZ to Vanessa Hudgen's lawyer) and still tried to write compelling pieces about silly white-pride music groups or a child unfortunately named Adolf Hitler Campbell.
Regrettably, the time has come to cash in our chips. We're has-beens in a Reddit and 4chan world. There's no keeping up with you kids and your "tweets" and "pintrists," so we might as well put away the keyboards before dust starts to gather. All I've got to say is that it's been a hell of a ride fellas and I'll never forget the good e-times we had.
Keep it dirty.
- smurf
Goodbye my friends