Eluid v3.1
Eminem is fat. Ha.
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Seals are assholes.May 15, 2008 at 05:10 pm
That son of a bitch...A seal has been caught on camera trying to have sex with a penguin.
One summer morning, scientists observing elephant seals on a beach on Marion Island near the Antarctic spotted a young male Antarctic fur seal subduing a king penguin.
"At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous," de Bruyn recalled today via email.
The roughly 240-pound seal subdued the 30-pound adult penguin by lying on it. The hapless bird of unknown sex struggled, rapidly flapping its flippers and attempting to stand and flee, without luck.
The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes. The seal then abruptly gave up, moving to sea and completely ignoring the target of its affections. The penguin apparently did not suffer any injury.
[...]
"It may have wanted to eat it and half-way through the chase changed its mind," de Bruyn speculated.
In 323 words by smurf 
- 24 views
Emma Watson's VaginaApril 21, 2008 at 08:16 pm
In 40 words by smurf - 287 views
Go Yale!April 17, 2008 at 08:30 pm
Art major Aliza Shvarts '08 wants to make a statement.Those art students. What won't they do? I bet right now she's listening to Morrissey LPs in her anti-war t-shirt (made by scribbling sharpie on a white t-shirt). She's so cool that she has frequented every coffee shop in New Haven EXCEPT Starbucks. She doesn't follow anyones rules or regulations.. unless they appear in Pitchfork Magazine first. SO HIP.
Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.
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The display of Schvarts' project will feature a large cube suspended from the ceiling of a room in the gallery of Green Hall. Schvarts will wrap hundreds of feet of plastic sheeting around this cube; lined between layers of the sheeting will be the blood from Schvarts' self-induced miscarriages mixed with Vaseline in order to prevent the blood from drying and to extend the blood throughout the plastic sheeting.
Schvarts will then project recorded videos onto the four sides of the cube. These videos, captured on a VHS camcorder, will show her experiencing miscarriages in her bathrooom tub, she said. Similar videos will be projected onto the walls of the room.
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But Shvarts insists her concept was not designed for "shock value."
The "fabricators," or donors, of the sperm were not paid for their services, but Shvarts required them to periodically take tests for sexually transmitted diseases. She said she was not concerned about any medical effects the forced miscarriages may have had on her body. The abortifacient drugs she took were legal and herbal, she said, and she did not feel the need to consult a doctor about her repeated miscarriages.
Ashlee Simpson is pregnantApril 14, 2008 at 05:48 pm
This isn't quite as funny or shocking as Jamie Lynn Spears getting knocked up but Jessica Simpson's "I'm pretty sure she's Jewish" little sister Ashlee Simpson is now pregnant.
In 168 words by smurf - 188 views
New York Mets got RickrolledApril 08, 2008 at 07:33 pm
It would have been funnier if it was a Spice Girls song or something not 4chan related. 'Never Gonna Give You Up' is actually a pretty sweet tune.The Mets will have a runoff to determine their new eighth-inning sing-along tune.
The organization received 5 million votes on its Web site after inviting fans to choose from among 10 selections to potentially replace Sweet Caroline. An issue arose, however, when FARK.com readers bombarded the Mets with gag votes for a write-in candidate: Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up.
The Astley tune actually won. Rather than commit to that as the new eighth-inning tune since it probably doesn’t reflect the fan base’s wishes, the Mets will play the top six selections once apiece during the first six games of their home stand. The one that draws the largest crowd response will stick.
In 202 words by smurf - 159 views
I'm sorryApril 01, 2008 at 06:01 pm
In 107 words by smurf - 196 views
Dear AlexMarch 31, 2008 at 11:27 am
In words by smurf - 119 views
Search Engine Optimization RapMarch 28, 2008 at 05:43 am
In 56 words by smurf - 76 views
