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The Last American Virgin...

May 29, 2007 at 02:34 pm

28 comments

Categories: Celebrities

In 1471 words by bunksteve - 452 views

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May 29, 2007 at 02:40 pm

What a terrific coming of age story!

smurf ·

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May 29, 2007 at 02:40 pm

All without the coming.

bunksteve ·

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May 29, 2007 at 02:57 pm

bunksteve has become the mouth piece of a sad and dejected generation of men who just want to make a creampie. God Bless you sir!! I don't know whether to cry or rejoice.....

l0rax

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May 29, 2007 at 04:37 pm

Good read.

hugo

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May 29, 2007 at 05:50 pm

That has to be the longest post in Eluid history. I'll read it when I'm drunk tonight, I promise.

roadie ·

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May 29, 2007 at 07:09 pm

A pleasure to read.

boxage

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May 29, 2007 at 07:10 pm

Ummm, I'm at a lost for words....I love the whole "find your own fucking ride next time" fucking classic, and then she cried, what a little bitch.

Good coming of age story though.

thejedisilentbob

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May 29, 2007 at 08:24 pm

HELL YES!! I'm finally registered......yippeee!!!

masterjedisilentbob

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May 29, 2007 at 11:35 pm

that should be published in some type of journal and i don't have the zinger for what type of journal it should be under. what a bummer.

r4ndy

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May 29, 2007 at 11:44 pm

The ending was kind of a buzz kill. As I always say "Women are nothing but filthy skanks".

roadie ·

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May 30, 2007 at 12:58 am

yeah the find your own ride thing was awesome.

you should have socked her in the jaw right after that so she knew you were serious.

greg

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May 30, 2007 at 01:04 am

where can i get the cliffnotes version of this

suzie

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May 30, 2007 at 01:46 am

You should write about your life experiences more often.

chomeop

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May 30, 2007 at 06:44 am

suzie: See every teen movie ever, then splice in some Bangbus scenes. Cliffnotes complete!

smurf ·

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May 30, 2007 at 01:52 pm

I think every guy has a 'girl cheated on me with a friend then she started crying about it' type of story...

Lord knows I do...

Feenix

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May 30, 2007 at 05:32 pm

I have a dog named Amanda. I'm sure she would let you fuck her. hahaha good story!

the limber timber

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May 30, 2007 at 06:17 pm

Yeah, the "Find your own ride" line was perfect!

I must say though, I am a tad disappointed. There were no Boston Steamers nor any Strawberry Parfaits.

All-in-all, a good read.

3.5 erections out of 5

yourself ·

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May 31, 2007 at 06:36 am

Getting that 4th erection from yourself is a fucking challenge. I told him a story involving 173 separate beastality creampies within a one hour time frame and STILL only get 3.75 boners. He's the internetz version of an East Germany judge ;(

smurf ·

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May 31, 2007 at 08:28 pm

Ouch, baby.

All I can say to that though is this, there was still no Boston Steamer.

I don't care who you are, the Boston Steamer completes the story.

Oh and I was the Berlin Wall. The people didn't tear me down, I was just getting tired and wanted to settle down with my family.

yourself ·

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June 01, 2007 at 02:00 am

Nice story and all .. but I am sad. Do you have PIX of Amanda #1 (at the age of 17 -or younger-)? Share pls kthnx.

gimme

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June 01, 2007 at 02:52 am

Nope. For the longest time, I carried a picture of her around in my wallet, but I finally forced myself to throw it away. I might have a pic of her in one of my old yearbooks, but those are in Indiana and I'm in California so... Not exactly readily available. Sorry, gimme.

bunksteve ·

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June 01, 2007 at 01:11 pm

It's a Cleveland Steamer. Unless there is some sort of foul twist that makes it a Boston Steamer which I cannot discount or take into consideration.

l0rax

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June 01, 2007 at 02:24 pm

Of course there is. You teabag her with your sack while shitting on her chest when performing a Boston Steamer as opposed to the boring ole Cleveland version.

smurf ·

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June 01, 2007 at 02:27 pm

"that should be published in some type of journal and i don't have the zinger for what type of journal it should be under. what a bummer."

~~Dear Penthouse~~ Dear Self-Righteous Misogynistic Assholes That Have Been Fucked Over by Stupid Whores Anonymous

I'm a lifetime subscriber!

smurf ·

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June 03, 2007 at 03:49 am

man, steve. That was some real shit. I almost felt like I was there. Holding the camera. Shaking my head.

Good man tho, not many people would come across with all that.
Werd.

Props to bunksteve.
*pounds chest*

spung

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June 03, 2007 at 11:09 pm

Update this shit man! I need something to read before I stumble into bed while half ass drunk!!

roadie ·

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June 04, 2007 at 12:20 pm

Can't you get someone to send you that Year Book? I NEED PIX

(I also need moar chezburgerz and updates kthnx)

gimme

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June 09, 2007 at 01:40 am

world-class material!

representing sweden, this was a fun read and i love the comment "get your own fucking ride..." and also Dan's comment "bet you can't do that with your panties". That's like a thing you normally come up with when it's to late!

Ceroc ·