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Cock all cathetered n shit

June 07, 2007 at 09:22 pm

renagade bleeding wang the best birthday present ever

37 comments

Categories: General

In 917 words by smurf - 587 views

Comment

June 07, 2007 at 09:39 pm

ow.

d0gg

Comment

June 07, 2007 at 09:48 pm

OUCH!

dedfetus

Comment

June 07, 2007 at 10:36 pm

That has to be the narliest shit ever.

r4ndy

Comment

June 07, 2007 at 11:50 pm

what caused you to piss blood in the first place smurf? how did it happen?

TTrav

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 12:06 am

And the diagnosis is...?

Sharya ·

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 02:12 am

jesus fucking christ man

thats bad
THATS real bad

an erection with a pen stuck in your cock
that sounds like alot of fun man

when u goin back?

neilo

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 03:41 am

too long in the piss hole with the vibrator eh?

ehsucks ·

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 05:03 am

Ew Mike, this is gross.

Too many cream pies without cleaning up the whip cream bottle? It can get kind of crusty and clog up.

literate

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 06:51 am

Holy crap....I was squirming in pain while reading that. Fuck sake that's got to be the worst pain ever.

masterjedisilentbob

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 09:01 am

You've ruined my morning.

hugo

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 12:27 pm

Haha, they don't even know what caused it to begin with. When they stuck the camera in there they didn't see anything wrong (ie: tumors, infection, etc.) All they noticed was a bit of irritation but nothing that should have caused this.

I need Dr. House on my side.

smurf ·

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 01:28 pm

Wimp. Child birth is *REAL* pain...or a kidney stone the size and weight of a bowling ball. Suck it up. ;-)
Amy, being mildly sympathetic and hoping it's nothing serious.

amy

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 02:45 pm

holy fucking shit

jesus fucking christ

what the bloody fuck

boxage

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 06:26 pm

I am using a blackberry riding on the train going home from work so I am nearly positive that I looked like a retard with all of the squirming, crying, and a touch of laughing I just did.

I want to feel sorry for ya but I don't know if I can because you are getting infinitely more action than I am. Still though, three of 'em...that is awful. Do you happen to know what gauge that is? (I think they are called gauges)

At any rate, find some way to piss and get better.

One more thing:If you drank all of that water and still can't piss, where's it going? Do you feel it in your bladder or does it not even get there?

Shoot, happy birthday D;

Yourself

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 08:12 pm

Happy belated birthday. Jesus Christ man...no man should have to endure that many catheters to the johnson. I'm still trying to recover from reading that. Hopefully all will be well with your urethra soon.

Godspeed brave soldier

Santa Claus

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 10:10 pm

I spent my birthday getting circumsized, you spend it shooting blood out of your cock. What can I say? We know how to make birthdays memorable.

Although, leave it up to jackass here to finally meet the girl of his dreams and then break his cock.

Gotta hand it to Suzi, though. Sticking with you through all of this... I'd say she's pulling an Anna Nicole and trying to get your money, but I know you're broke as fuck.

And I did tell Suzi to pass along my birthday wishes. If she didn't, I'll cap that cunt in the brain-pan. (Just kiddin, Suze... not really though... break his heart and I break your face)

bunksteve ·

Comment

June 08, 2007 at 11:12 pm

i can feel the love in the air.

The sooner your cock is in working order the sooner you can be spreading your seed! That what your here to do.

gl with the cock pipe, your one of a select few (not really) who knows how it feels it have something shoved in your sex organ. Welcome to womanhood.
:P

chomeop

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 01:56 am

If "what goes around, comes around" I really wanna know what the fuck you did to deserve that shit?!!

Anyways, Happy Birthday!

Ceroc ·

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 01:57 am

DEAR BUNKSTEVE,

WHEN YOU REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MIKES ASS LET ME KNOW SO WE CAN GO OUT AND HAVE A LATTE TOGETHER AND TALK OF DAYS PAST.

SINCERELY,
EHSUCKS

ehsucks ·

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 07:01 am

Kids in Sandbox: The Reality Show!

Kevin

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 10:04 am

Ah jeezus Kevin...seriously.

...

I'd probably watch it =/

yourself ·

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 12:50 pm

DEAR BUNKSTEVE,

WHEN YOU REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MIKES ASS LET ME KNOW SO WE CAN GO OUT AND HAVE A LATTE TOGETHER AND TALK OF DAYS PAST.

SINCERELY,
EHSUCKS

Lol, for real.

Coolest

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 02:17 pm

bleeding cock. that's hilarious!

Tony

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 08:56 pm

Dear ehsucks,

Your mom wanted to call you the other day, but she was unable to say anything except "mmfmmmfmfmffrmfmfmrmf" because she had a big mouthful of my cock.

Love,

Steve

P.S. You're next.

bunksteve ·

Comment

June 09, 2007 at 09:48 pm

DEAR BUNK "I DON'T HAVE NO MOTHERFUCKING COCK SO PLEASE PITY ME" STEVE,

HOW DARE YOU CHOKE MY MOM WITH YOUR FAKE PENIS! THE POOR WOMAN HAS NO ARMS OR LEGS AND YOU GO AND CHOKE HER. I WILL BE ADDING A 10% DAMAGED GOODS FEE TO YOUR BILL FOR THE MONTH.

FUCK YOU,
EHSUCKS

PS, BRING IT YOU LITTLE BITCH.

ehsucks ·

Comment

June 10, 2007 at 10:19 am

Why hasn't anybody brought up this suggestion?

After some thought I believe that it is obvious that Smurf beats Smurf Jr.

I have notified the appropriate authorities and it shall only be a matter of time before Smurf is taken into custody for child neglect :P

yourself ·

Comment

June 10, 2007 at 03:16 pm

Dearest ehsucks,

Will you marry me?

bunksteve ·

Comment

June 10, 2007 at 08:42 pm

mike, your penis has the size of a cent, there's no way on earth that could've hurt...

matt

Comment

June 11, 2007 at 12:55 am

Smurf, quit pissing and moaning(haha, no pun intended). We need another update. I do anyways. Short attention span and all. You know how it is.

KTHXBAI

budsmokr

Comment

June 11, 2007 at 12:55 am

http://www.blogdar.com/ugotnegams/ddd.swf

someone had to link it... seriously though Suzie, take it easy on the big guy ;\

Feenix

Comment

June 11, 2007 at 04:41 am

Feenix, I do believe you mean little guy ;X

yourself ·

Comment

June 12, 2007 at 04:00 am

dude, stop thinking of me and maybe you will stop popping chubs in the ER. Haha, feel better dude, indiescene misses you.

khanvickt

Comment

June 12, 2007 at 07:22 am

*wet farts*

masterjedisilentbob

Comment

June 12, 2007 at 11:14 am

I hate Eluid.org.

roadie ·

Comment

June 13, 2007 at 01:41 am

Smurf just when i thought your posts couldn't shock me any more you hit me with that, good god I hope Smurf Jr gets well soon sounds nasty++

z3ek

Comment

June 13, 2007 at 10:06 pm

the second to last sentence is a clause. love, suzie

smurf ·

Comment

June 15, 2007 at 11:51 am

wow man, you sure have some luck, get some duct tape and fix your wang...

ps, i love you man!

Pellucid