Eluid v3.1
I suck at being a webmaster.
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Happy New Year ResolutionsJanuary 07, 2010 at 10:26 pm
Even we know when enough is enough, and it's high-time we take a break from poking fun at our stubby-legged, bug-eyed brethren (And sistren). You heard it here first, folks! 2010 is the year for making fun of crippled Hispanics!
God pulled a major year-end coup by pwning Brittany Murphy's face. That's not to say we hated Brittany Murphy, but to be frank... If we saw one more shot of her looking wild-eyed and vacant into the camera lens while a Peter Gabriel song was playing, we might have had to rip her heart out ourselves. Oh, also... The Lohan is slowly coming unglued. It's only a matter of time before she does a photo shoot for Esquire that involves her stuffing as many NFL linebackers into her frightened, abused asshole before it finally becomes the cold, vacuous black hole that it was always destined to become and sucks humanity inward, collapsing it out of existence. But you know... tastefully done.
You may be asking yourself what charity work Eluid could possibly even consider, but trust me... keeping smurf away from Elementary School Carnival Kissing Booths and The Gap is practically the “AIDS cure” of charities. Except for that charity where they're actually trying to cure AIDS. That one's closer.In 333 words by bunksteve 
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