Permalink Happy New Year Resolutions

January 07, 2010 at 10:26 pm

It's a new year. And while the majority of the Eluid staff managed to stay out of prison, we can't rightly say we acted like angels either. So we'd like to take a moment and make a list of things we need to change about ourselves and the site. Without further ado, we proudly present:

Eluid's Resolutions for 2010

New Years Fatty


-----Yes, we know. Site updates are more rare than level-headed discussion about feminist politics on this site. And there's very good reason for this: We're fucking busy, okay? We have lives outside of this website... well... most of us do... besides... all this meth isn't gonna cook itself.

----- Midget GymnastEven we know when enough is enough, and it's high-time we take a break from poking fun at our stubby-legged, bug-eyed brethren (And sistren). You heard it here first, folks! 2010 is the year for making fun of crippled Hispanics!




















----- Clueless about how to liveGod pulled a major year-end coup by pwning Brittany Murphy's face. That's not to say we hated Brittany Murphy, but to be frank... If we saw one more shot of her looking wild-eyed and vacant into the camera lens while a Peter Gabriel song was playing, we might have had to rip her heart out ourselves. Oh, also... The Lohan is slowly coming unglued. It's only a matter of time before she does a photo shoot for Esquire that involves her stuffing as many NFL linebackers into her frightened, abused asshole before it finally becomes the cold, vacuous black hole that it was always destined to become and sucks humanity inward, collapsing it out of existence. But you know... tastefully done.















----- Little Girls on SlidesYou may be asking yourself what charity work Eluid could possibly even consider, but trust me... keeping smurf away from Elementary School Carnival Kissing Booths and The Gap is practically the “AIDS cure” of charities. Except for that charity where they're actually trying to cure AIDS. That one's closer.














6 comments

Categories: General

In 333 words by bunksteve Email - 257 views

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January 29, 2010 at 01:13 pm

HAPPY NEW YEAR ELUID! <3

Member shadow Email · URL Permalink

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January 30, 2010 at 06:21 pm

update some shit faggots!~

l0rax Email Permalink

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February 12, 2010 at 12:46 am

more frequent updates? I cant tell, guess ill check back in 2011

d0gg Email Permalink

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February 12, 2010 at 09:10 pm

Don't you get the irony? New Years Resolutions are always broken!

Oh... and fuck midgets.

Member bunksteve Email · URL Permalink

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February 24, 2010 at 03:45 pm

I don't know what I would do without all the site updates.

anonymous Email Permalink

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February 25, 2010 at 06:33 pm

What did you guys expect? I'm still fat, I still smoke, I haven't taken any big trips, and I'm still stuck in a dead-end job.

It's pretty apparent that New Years resolutions are not my strong suite (neither is updating..)

Member smurf Email · URL Permalink

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